So, my in-laws had invited us for Thanksgiving Dinner three weeks ago, we said yes, mainly because we can't really travel anywhere this year due to financial reasons, and even as bad as my MIL's cooking can be, it was better than paying for a turkey, finding seating for 8 people and making my house company ready.
Well, this past weekend they decided to inform us that they'd changed their minds and were driving 75 miles to Buffalo to have Thanksgiving Dinner in a senior center with my MIL's 90something year old great aunt and uncle and their children and grand children, but we were welcome to drive out there and eat with them in the senior center.
Is it me, or was this really rude?
Invite someone over, but then decide not to be there yourself.
Now, here's the kicker!
When I saw my MIL yesterday for other reasons, she flat out asked me if we had decided about the senior center dinner. I told her that because of other plans we'd made for that weekend and a baby shower I have to attend in Buffalo on the Saturday of that weekend that it didn't really make sense for us to drive all the way out there twice in one weekend and that we could figure out something else to do for Thanksgiving without them since they were going to the senior center. I explained that mostly it was a time, gas and mileage thing, nothing against the family (though really I can't stand that branch of the family and we just spent 4 days with them in September!) it was just for practicality that I didn't think we'd be going.
So, she waited til about 20 minutes after the husband gets off work and then calls him to see what "his side of it is" because his wife "obviously has her own agenda" and "doesn't want to have anything to do with her family" and why can't he just "tell me that I have to let him see his family". She left all this on voicemail cause the husband's ringer was still off from work.
About 15 minutes later, before he had a chance to figure out what to say when he called her back, his dad called and left another message that went something like-
"you need to call your mom and tell her that you stood up to you wife and that she's crazy and of course you're spending Thanksgiving with your family and that she was out of line to even think of suggesting anything else"
Yeah, so I'm ticked.
And my husband's ticked.
But, my husband is ignoring his parents because he's afraid to tell them he's ticked.
So, I'm trying really hard to not be more ticked.
And, I'm starting a really really long day.
7am-10pm of constant running between things/work/running/youth event.
Yeah, I'm going to need a few POTS of coffee!
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7 years ago
1 comment:
Okay, this is coming from a 60 yr. old lady who survived a MIL similar to yours. As a christian I tried to let comments slide, but- thinking back now I think the best thing to do would just nip it in the bud. That way resentments can't start to grow. She has a problem, not you. Start your own traditions. Stand your ground "in a loving way". And, then she has to deal with frustrations. You and your husband enjoy your day together. Eat a sandwich if need be and stay clear of any conflict. Just my thought. Love your blog.
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